A New Decade.

2020
I am back again. This time I intend to stay intentionally. A lot has happened since the last time I wrote here. Life has shown me PEPPER, I will write about it here one of these days. A good thing happened though I became a mother💃🏾 to an amazing baby girl. Motherhood has been a rollercoaster I won't lie but I would gladly do it again and again.
I have so many things to write here.
Dear Diary you are about to be my therapist. 

WORDS

We've all heard a million times how powerful words are, they can make or break a person. I've been trying to process certain things that was said to me days ago.  These words took me back to a place I thought I had moved on from, It pierced deep down my heart. These words came with a cloud of darkness.
I am beautifully damaged. I thought I had finally found my safe haven until days ago when reality hit me really hard, I felt as if I was thrown back into the cold.
I am scared, hurt, broken, confused and sad. Please Lord fix this cause I can't.
It will take more than words to fix me this time. 

Fresh Start

The past eight months has been one hell of a roller coaster ride.
 I still can't believe everything that has happened and is still happening, Sometimes I feel like I'm in a trance. They're days that I'm extremely happy about everything, and they are days that I am worried, scared and afraid. Last month I made a decision to be a lot calmer, and take everything one step at a time. Learning to overlook a lot of things and be patient instead....Time goes by so fast with no replays or rewinds. Personal peace, Patience is the new bedrock.
Happy New Month in advance Guys..Can we be friends again? 

DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND...

I need you to get me. I need you to know that I have a million insecurities, I need you to be patient with me. I do not need the "typical" kind of loving. I need a special kind of love, one that won't be quick to judge but patient enough to listen and guide in the right path.
   There is a 100 percent chance that I will have a nervous breakdown while walking on that aisle to you, I need you to gaze directly into my eyes telling me, I'm the best thing that has ever happened to you, and letting me know that we will work together believing God. I'm properly going to walk in to your life damaged with all of my rags.  I hope you understand that, being scared of going into this union with you is not because I don't love you. I love you my king, you are the best thing ever. I will gladly give you everything and be the best for you. My fear comes from my broken pieces, my insecurities, my childhood experiences but with you by my side I know that I will be okay.
I've said yes because I feel your beautiful kind of Love.