MERCI MON AGENDA

Dear Diary,
                        I have so much that I would love to say to you, but let me start by saying that starting this blog wasn't a bad idea. You have been there for me when I can't express my emotions verbally, all I need to do is come here and write. And I would feel better automatically, You have helped me grow with my writing when I read my earlier posts to the newest ones I see growth and to me that is beauty. Because of you I have paid more attention to my punctuations lol (even though I still have a long way to go) starting this blog has been one of the best decisions I made in my entire life, it's like having an invisible friend.
          The few feedbacks I have gotten from people, Especially seasoned writers blows my mind that people I respect a lot as writers visit my blog.
Thank you HER DIARY TODAY for giving me an opportunity to find myself, express myself, love and accept my flaws even when it's extremely hard. I will try to post often (I say that all the time) and publish all the writing that I have stored in drafts, when the time is right.
                                   
                                           Love always
                                                          Edwina Akpabio. 

SHE BLOOMS

Today I am thankful for the gift of friends, Yesterday was something! from laughing hard and crying at the same time, Let's just say I didn't know how to express any emotion happy or sad without crying. At the end of the day I felt so much better. My friends may not always say the right things, but they know the right things to do to cheer me up. 

     There is nothing ordinary about me, I learnt long time ago that my story is significant, the way I feel things is different from other people. Good or bad I have learnt to be thankful and grateful for the lessons. 

       Thank you life, Let's try this all over again, I'm not in the business of giving up because of a bad experience. who knows this time might be better and if it's not, we will keep trying. :* 

                              

                                  Laters:) 

CLOSURE.....

I woke up early and went for a run, something I don't like doing. I ran for an hour, I still don't know how I was able to run for that long. I had given myself the whole of yesterday to be broken and get over it today,  Apparently that's not how it works cause when I came back from running tears rolled out of my eyes on their own, I tried to hold them back in but to no avail. I literally felt all my bones weakening that's when I knew that I can't just "ADULT" this one out. I have to go through this pain, I can't run away from it. I hope writing about it helps because MBA is a serious business I can't study if my head/heart is not in the right place I just can't.  My life is so disorganized in just two days, I look like a shadow of myself, I need closure.

DEAR HEART, WHY HIM?

Just when you think you have it under control, Someone comes along and messes with your heart all over again. The pain makes you relive all the other bitter memories, Makes you think you're worthless.  Makes you question everything. It just ruins every good thing you had going on in your life.
     Friends try to cheer you up, Saying things they feel you need to hear, but you are still, Cold palms and feet from lack of blood circulation, You are literally frozen, Vision blurring, And in that moment I heard my heart break, It was a small sound like  the snapping of a flower stem. Every part of my body is broken too. I feel my lungs closing, I want to lock myself in and break down, not because someone random dude decided to play with my heartstrings but because I broke down my walls, Something I never should have done.
       I took a chance and he took a swing, I took it hard. The sad thing is that I still miss him with all the broken pieces.
 I know my heart will never be the same again, but I'm telling myself that I will fine okay.