LOST

I have been struggling lately between choosing me, my friends or my family. I think that i'm going through a phase of being misunderstood a lot.  My friends say that there is a white girl in me and I don't think that is cool, but I just smile and let it pass.
     Everyone has demons and I am at that place where mine is trying to catch up with me and i'm kinda tired talking to them about it because I don't want anyone thinking I'm being needy or seeking too much attention.
I know this for sure that I would really love to change my phone numbers, go off social media, focus on myself and work on my short comings with no cares in the world. I know that this is selfish but when do I get to be selfish for me? I am exhausted and drowning I'm tired of listening I want to be heard even when I'm not talking. I really need my friends like NOW but at the same time I am not going to say a word.  I am sensitive when it comes to them, I can sense when they are not happy and try to reach out.  Even when it comes to close family members I'm the one who listens to everyone.......Right now I really want to be heard.
   Anyway that aside, the Lord is my strength and I am really going to go off for a while for me before I lose it all, I need to go and find me first.