Forgiveness

Do we truly forgive? We all know the definition of forgiveness and when we get hurt the person who caused the hurt apologises and we say "oh yea I have forgiven you" let's fast forward time. 6 years you are talking to a buddy and then from no where you bring up past issues and then you talk about the hurt, Your face clearly shows that you are still hurt and 6 years back you said you had forgiven. So this is my question why do we remember the hurt? Why does the pain linger even when we had forgiven? Should'nt we forget and not talk about it? Another one is truly forgiving yourself over a silly mistake you made ages ago. What really is forgiveness without forgetting? Am not one of them girls that throw hurtful words to people once the open their mouths to talk BUT once in a while she gets upset and she says things she should not have said that happens once in 10 years. Instead i count 1 - 100 in my mind instead of talking back cause i know that even when we say we have forgiven it takes the special grace of God to forget esp for us girls, and word can break or make a person. If any one reads this post and i had done something to hurt you, directly or indirectly i am truly sorry please forgive and forget.